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Thanks, But No Thanks

Don’t you just HATE when you tell someone you have lupus and instantly they tell you about their brother, cousin, aunt’s friend having it is well. And don’t you just HATE when they tell you that you look terrible and that you should “do what my cousin’s friend does… she’s had it for years and looks ahh-mazing!”

Uh…..? Everyone wants to impose their own versions of treatment on me and suggest what has worked for everyone else BUT themselves. One time is an easy dismissal. Two times, I’m kind of annoyed, and by the third time, if you are still trying to push your method of treatment on me, then I won’t be so nice.

So….. I try to avoid all of that by respectfully stating that “I decline, thank you.”

What is the best way to tell these people that I am not interested in their unsolicited advice and get them to stop without coming across as rude?

In researching pleasant ways to say NO online, I came across an article written by three women who explained how they would handle the situation.

CALLIE ATHEY THINKS: “People need to understand that nothing needs to be said…”

HELEN FORD WALLACE THINKS: “Good grief! It is definitely not right for people to comment on your method of taking care of yourself. You, more than anyone, know what needs to be done. It is not rude to suggest “thank you very much for your advice, but I am doing all I can do at this time.” You can also tell them to email you if something brand new comes up in medicine (you don’t want to miss anything) but that you have all the information that you need at this time. And leave it at that.”

LILLIE-BETH BRINKMAN THINKS: “This is easier said than done, but it seems like the right answer to these people is a short one, even if you just say “thanks.” If you keep it short and simple, they can’t rebut any statements that you make about your protocol. If you feel like it, you can also note that you’ll pass the information along to your doctor and leave it there. Even though these people are likely well-meaning, it doesn’t help you when you’re feeling terrible to hear about all these so-called “miracle cures” that fully healed their best friend’s cousin’s ex-husband’s mom or someone supposedly close to them…”

*Read more of what the ladies thought by clicking here.

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2 thoughts on “Thanks, But No Thanks”

  1. Oh yes, everyone has their own idea of how you look, feel and do. No one really understand unless they are actually going through it. They sometimes think they are saying the right things but boy they are so far off from the truth. I feel it is best just to say “I hope you are okay or I wish you well” instead of going on and on about who and what they think they know. Sometimes some of the people mean well but just don’t have a clue and then there are those that think they know it all and what they say is the gospel.

    1. I don’t think anyone will ever fully understand what it means to have a chronic illness. I always send well wishes. I don’t try to force my diet on people or suggest medical treatment either. Everyone is different and we all respond to things differently. I’m sure they mean well but sometimes enough is enough.

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